Government Shut Down puts a halt to DancingOct 12th, 2013 | By Steven Weisz | Category: Archived Articles
After months of Congressional dancing between the parties, both House and Senate came to the realization in a rare bi-partisan agreement that the cause of the nation’s current woes was actually dancing. According to one Senator, “if we could just stop all this dancing” maybe we could get the business of the nation done!
The majority leader, citing legal precedent from government operations in Elmore City, noted that dancing could be legally banned. In fact, dancing was banned in that town for over 100 years. He went on to add that in 1980, the law was unfortunately overturned. As a direct result, both parties in Elmore City have been dancing ever since, leading to its demise.
After a brief filibuster, in which a state representative was accused of having too much movement on the floor, it was concluded that most dancing was actually occurring on government land. Given the current shutdown, it was noted that legislation would not be necessary as dancing could simply be banned on all federal land.
House leaders noted that bipartisan support for such a ban was in the majority. Republicans seemed especially pleased that they could prevent Michelle Obama from doing the Dougie. It was further noted that such a ban might extend to prevent President Obama from showing his dance skills, or lack of, on foreign soil as he did at a celebration of Diwali in India not long ago. And who would forget the President’s campaign appearance on Ellen doing the Hustle. Under this new regulation such dancing would be impeachable grounds as it would violate federal law.
As to the possible backlash by arts organizations and dancers across the United States, it was noted that since most of them fall below the poverty line, they would be too engaged waiting to log in online to get health care to even notice this ban had gone in to effect. Once again the majority leader cited that if push comes to shove, Congress could simply cut even more of their funding.